Families, Food, Nutrition and Healing
The first lady, Michelle Obama, has declared a national initiative to counteract the epidemic of childhood obesity in this country. I think this is a great idea. I think the most important aspect that the first lady has underscored is, it’s not about looks, or pounds, or appearance, but about how kids feel.
I was an overweight kid, so I have personal experience with these issues. And I think the First Lady’s take on the issues is on target. I had three factors which conspired against me. I had two older working parents, so that meals in our home were inclined to convenience, not cohesiveness, I had breathing problems and was very near sighted, so I could not successfully participate in the usual Physical Education activities at school. I fell into easy habits of eating for comfort, not because I was actually hungry.
On the positive side, I grew up in a time where the U.S. Department of Agriculture subsidized hot lunch programs in every public school in the United States. The program, put into place by Franklin D. Roosevelt in the 1930s, assured that every public school child got an on site meal, prepared to strict nutritional standards, for a very low price.
The program was one of the first things that the Reagan administration erased, which is how school lunches got to the deplorable state they are in today.
My mother, true to her rural southern roots, loved to cook from “scratch”, canning preserves and jelly in seasons, fixing seasonal produce, and she avoided fried food. She loved fresh fruit, and made sure that she ate a lot of it as often as possible. Her favorite way to relax was to spend time in the kitchen, making things, preparing food from basic ingredients. She never used pre-packaged food. Even into her early 90’s she loved “Farmer’s Markets” and would bring home bags of fresh produce to prepare for her meals at home.
My father was an avid label reader, long before it was fashionable. Ever the corporate skeptic, he read the labels on every food item that came into our house, and instilled in us a strong ethic as informed consumers.
I see a lot of families in my practice, and there are a few patterns that are consistent. Parents who come in with a “problem kid” rarely eat meals together, and many, if not most meals, are prepared for convenience, not nurture.
The other constant is lots of television. Most of these home have a TV on for background noise. The evening hours, should be a time for families to re-connect, share love and strength with each other. Instead, they are just continuations of the day’s “jangle” and “noise” followed by family members retreating to different rooms for private distractions.
The families I see tend to live in larger houses, and the children tend to have lots of privacy, to the point of isolation. Meals together are the exception, not the rule.
By contrast, the families I know personally, which I consider nurturing, and which produce children with self esteem and are successful, tend to be families where at least one daily meal (usually the evening meal) are eaten together.
The other component is actual cooking, where food is prepared in the kitchen, and the entire family participates in meal preparation, setting the table, cleaning up afterward, and no one leaves until the process is complete.
Doing all of this is not that hard, but it helps if you can develop the habits early, work out a routine that becomes second nature, divide up the tasks so that everyone participates to the best of their abilities (even a six year old can help with something) and feels like their participation is valued and appreciated.
Providing your kids with nutritious home cooked meals is a central part of assuring their success in life, and maintaining a functioning family that will be better suited to deal with the storms of adolescence. You will be amazed to find out what your children are learning, and they will be appreciate your interest and involvement. They will also learn how to cook, a skill which will enhance their self esteem, and offer a sense of connection to their family, culture and the earth.
So, steer clear of the pre-packaged food aisle (ever read those labels? Frightening), and start making fresh food, locally grown (when possible) using the best of the season, adding variety and good nutrition to your kids lives.
You will all be a lot happier for it.
My mother Edna (at age 92), at the West Hollywood Farmer’s Market.